“I wish I had known that”. That phrase I have said and heard many times as I have taken part in, or helped facilitate some kind of crisis recovery group. It seems we all think we are equipped for life, but we don’t see the consequences of our principles until something goes wrong. Only later when we have to deal with some personal crisis and have to reach out for help do we learn there could have been a different path. I started sharing this weekly blog 31 weeks ago as a way of exposing helpful information to others in an abbreviated form. My hope was people would be encouraged to think about the principles presented in order to avoid problems, or seek additional help in whatever difficulties they faced. It also was my way to develop the topics and get feedback from others. Key topics included hope, forgiveness, joy, peace, pride and humility, real wealth, communication, boundaries, relationship recovery, the power within, time, spirituality, grief, safe people, and yes even love and sex. All the blog topics (newest to oldest you can scroll through) will continue to be posted under http://www.enlightenmentforyou.com if you want to access them even after I stop posting weekly. The impact on my life and interaction with others during this process has been nothing short of amazing.

So what is next? I have always felt that this blogging process was going to somehow be a stepping stone to something else. I have learned many times to keep moving forward and to be patient, and that next step will be revealed. Now that this information is in abbreviated form and roughed out, it is time to organize it and expand it into a form where it can be used in a broader forum to try to help others. Between now and the end of the year, I plan on refining and formatting it into a book that includes key topics, and testimonials from others on how they applied these principles in their life. Also using a personal coaching approach, some workbook pages would be included in each section so people can evaluate where they are, where they want to be, and the specific steps they are going to take to get there. This effort is not meant as a fulltime effort for me, but rather the next step I am compelled to take with the material. This is not going to be just me involved. I am going to expand my group of advisors that have helped, and reach out to others for input, testimonials, and more feedback. I admit I don’t know where all of this is leading, but I am excited to see where it does.

For those of you that are spiritual, I am asking for prayers for myself and the others that become involved, to keep us focused on where this fits into God’s plan. I know there will be distractions along the way, and those that will try to discourage us. If this effort helps only one person avoid a crisis or heal from one, then it was worth it. This is not about pride or profit, but about helping others which ultimately glorifies God. Any brokenness in our past, and God’s grace for healing, helped lead me and others to this moment. It is very likely at some point in the future we will look back at this effort and be amazed at what has transpired between now and then. Whether you are spiritual or not, all of you are in my prayers.

It is that area you don’t want people to see. Over time the clutter builds up and instead of dealing with it, you just keep the door shut so no one can see it. You know it is there, which still wears on you. Things get lost in there. It is overwhelming thinking about trying to clear out that messy closet. All those same things also apply to things you have done and are not proud of. They seem to build up in your mind and occupy space. We keep the door shut hoping if no one sees them that everything will be ok. It won’t be OK because you know they are there. You wish there was a way to clear those thoughts and that guilt out.

It was the fall of 2009 and my personal closet in my mind was about as messy as it could be. I was in the middle of a separation of my marriage of 20+ years, trying to keep some degree of normal life for my 2 younger daughters, all while trying to stay focused when at work. I was trying to do the right things to not only survive, but to heal and grow. I attended a divorce recovery group for a 13 week program that year, and I had been attending church to try to find additional strength. It was early September and in some religious reading I was doing, I came across some information on the Jewish holiday of Yom Kippur which sounded intriguing. I am not Jewish but the idea of a day of fasting and prayer to refocus your life and atone for your wrongs sounded like what I needed. It also sounded like a way to de-clutter my personal closet mentally. Yes this was going to be out of my comfort zone, but nothing ever worth doing is ever easy.

The Day of Atonement as it is also known starts at nightfall, and extends until nightfall the following day. That allows for one large meal to stock up some food to help hold you over. I did eat well, and made sure to carb up. Fasting for 24 hours is not easy, but is very do-able. Fasting humbles you by making you very aware of your humanity. Fasting with prayer is said to have special power to draw you closer to God. That fall of 2009 I did this for the first time. It was life changing for me. I can’t explain it, but it changed something. Something in me and my relationship with God. That November I was baptized as an adult, which is a leap in my faith I was not quite ready for before then. Since then my life has been blessed with jobs/promotions to provide, a great family I have seen grow with college graduations, marriages, more grandchildren, and good health. My walk continues with my faith as I continue to learn and grow. This year will now be my 7^th year of doing this. It is an annual cleansing and refocus I look forward to now each year. I also know as a Christian that Christ atoned for my sins on the cross and I feel like he is my personal savior.

If you want to use the 2015 Day of Atonement for fasting, prayer, and repentance here is some information: You can do this in the privacy of your own home or office. There is no formal service to attend (unless you are Jewish of course). It is during the week, so it won’t impact any weekend entertainment plans. You get to eat a large meal before and after (Yeah), so that will help you. It is between you and God. Focus. Pray. Ask for forgiveness. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

Tuesday, September 22, 2015 – Starts at nightfall

Wednesday, September 23, 2015 – Ends at nightfall

Some may make you laugh. Others may make you think. Sometimes sayings inspire us or give us a different perspective. I think we all have a handful of clever sayings that stick in our head and become principles we try to live by or be aware of. I noticed Facebook seems to have breathed new life into sharing sayings or quotes with others. It is amazing the power that words can have in our lives.

Here is your challenge: look at the list below and FB post a comment with the number of your favorite one or offer a new one up. It will be interesting to see what sayings people embrace.

1. You get the love you feel you deserve
2. Not setting boundaries with people deprives them from the opportunity to mature
3. If you don’t appreciate what you have, God will keep taking things away until you do
4. Don’t tell me, show me
5. Work is what you do, not who you are as a person
6. If you don’t make any mistakes, you are probably not doing anything productive
7. You must be able to be a whole person alone, before you can be an effective partner
8. If you are a single parent household, you can still be a whole family
9. There is a big difference between being active and being effective
10. Never give up, never give in
11. If you can’t get it done in 40 hours, you probably won’t get it done in 50 hours
12. We train people how to treat us
13. Plan your future and work your plan
14. If you are making money, there will be competition from others to try to get it
15. God loves you. You are never alone.
16. You will have problems you can’t handle alone. Ask for help.
17. You can’t change what you don’t acknowledge
18. Use your gifts and find your purpose
19. There is a big difference between being poor (loss of hope) and being broke (lack of money)
20. Life can change in an instant
21. If you only value things, what happens when you lose them?
22. Our children are our legacy
23. Tomorrow you won’t have this day. Don’t waste it.
24. Many others would love to be you right now
25. Forgiveness is really for you, not them
26. You can’t start over and have a new beginning, but you can start now and create a new ending.

Pick one term that best describes what you are right now. Was it something like bored, lonely, depressed, poor, divorced, single parent, empty nester, alcoholic, overweight, faithless, dumb, or something else you perceive as negative? Notice I say perceive as negative, as some of these situations don’t have to be. After thinking that way long enough about yourself, have you lost hope about regaining a positive outlook? It is a very easy trap to fall into to let your negative perception become your identity, and thus driving your reality. I saw a Facebook post the other day that got me thinking on this topic and it said: “Starting to remember who I am and what I want.” After some major struggle or life event, we can lose ourselves and want to get back to who we once were. I have done it, as I am sure many of you have. How do we get back to us and who we were, with our hopes and dreams? We all want to be more than just a survivor.

I heard a great theory on perception and change, and it stuck with me. It is called the Be, Do, Have principle. It is human nature to want to have something, but struggle with how to get there. This principle recognizes that real change starts with your perception first. As an example, let’s say you are down because you are overweight and want to be healthier. Why not start with “I am healthier” (AKA Be healthy now), so I do the things healthy people do, and then I will have what healthy people have. It does eliminate having to put yourself through some long set of tasks before allowing to let yourself be what you want. I have used this many times in my life and it does work. If you want to have something, Be that thing, Do what those people do, then you will Have what they have. From the moment you decide to commit to overcome something, you should be freed of the burden from it.

Yes there are things all of us want to change, but keep in mind you are greater than one dimension. You are more than what has happened to you. You don’t have to be defined by your brokenness. We all have fallen down, failed, and let it become overwhelming at some point. It may not feel like it at the time, but our struggles make us stronger. It is very likely that something bad that you went through you will draw on when helping someone else later. We should learn from our past, but not trap ourselves in it.

If you are struggling with something, just know that trying to handle it in isolation is the hardest thing to do. We are not meant to struggle alone. There is a power when we connect with the community of others that is greater than ourselves. It might be family or friends. Just be sure if you share with them and are vulnerable that they are safe people, who will support you and not betray your trust. There may be some that will not support or encourage you in your efforts. Being aware of when this happens will help you manage your emotions to not get discouraged, and set healthy boundaries with these people. In fact expecting resistance from some will help you to not be thrown off by it, and instead keep it in perspective and say “there it is”. Then you just keep moving forward.

One of the rainiest summers in history, gun violence in our cities at a record pace, innocent lives lost in numerous accidents related to I 65 construction and detours, racial tensions between law enforcement and citizens, and day after day of news of child molesters preying on innocent children. Just in this past week we have seen the death of a race car driver, a home invasion in Indy then a hit and run spree with 4 victims, stock market volatility, and a news crew gunned down on live television. In your own personal life you may also be dealing with stressors from work, an illness or injury, or relationships. It is easy to get discouraged with all these dark things around us.

I wish the news could get ratings with positive stories, in proper proportion. We see those things all around us too. A single parent raising their children with guidance and love, parents spending endless hours supporting their children’s activities, people caring for their aging parents, volunteers who serve others, or people who simply treat people with random acts of love and kindness every day. We see it in those who foster or adopt children, those who save pets from animal shelters, caring medical people who see us on our worst days, public servants who risk their lives to keep us safe, those who are involved with various recovery groups, or those who simply pray with those who are in need. I am very proud to know many people like this. These are the everyday heroes in life. Somehow the light these people bring into the world can get overshadowed in the day to day dark events of the world.

We cannot control all the events of this world, but we can control our perceptions and how we react to it. We also have a great deal of influence on the mood we pass on to our children and loved ones. It is very easy to fall into a trap of negativity, especially with all the events in the news. Choosing to be positive and thankful for the good does not mean we do not care about the bad. It does not mean we don’t grieve when bad things happen. It also does not mean we are passive and don’t take action and get involved to change things either in our personal lives or with greater causes. It does mean that we don’t take for granted all the good. If you are breathing and reading this, you have at least one thing to be thankful for today. That one thing may be that you can be the good in someone else’s life.

This is the 26^th week in a row that I have written this weekly blog. Just about every week now I wonder if I have run out of relevant topics that may help others. I have learned early in the week to be patient and listen. Every week something seems to emerge that has value in communicating and the words come. I write them, but often it feels like they come from somewhere else and I am just a conduit. I can’t explain it. I have always said that if this writing helps just one person, just one time, then I am flattered by it. But it is not about me. It is about doing something that serves someone greater than me. I am even thankful for all the brokenness in my life and how that has served as insight and raised awareness to help others. I am very blessed. I only hope I can bring a little light, so others can be too.

It was another session as part of counselor training and one I thought I understood: Children of divorce. The instructor was a licensed and experienced counselor with in-depth knowledge of the real world impacts of how divorce affects children. What I learned surprised and even shocked me. We think about children and divorce impacts from our adult perspectives, but we need to understand how it can affect children from their perspective. This can help us more fully understand the impacts of our decisions on their lives, and understand what they may be going through as a result of a divorce.

Emotional reactions children have to divorce: Some reactions are what you might expect with sadness, denial, embarrassment, or anger. Children also have concerns about being cared for (even in affluent families), worry about maturity that is foisted upon them that separates them from their peers, or may even have physical symptoms such stomach aches or headaches from the stress.

Fears children have that are common: Fear that the other parent would leave, fear they would never see the other parent again, fear that if the parents no longer love each other that they may not love them, and fear that any subsequent marriage later will also end in divorce.

Anger toward the parent who left, the parent who stayed, or a step parent is common. They may also feel guilt and think that if they somehow had done something different, maybe the divorce would not have happened.

So what is your reaction after reading this? My hope would be children never have to go through this, and if you are contemplating divorce that this may make you think. My second reaction is if they do, they will need help to navigate their way through it. Help and understanding from both parents, and help from a professional counselor for all involved to navigate to some form of wellness. I admit in my experience more professional help would have been better, before and after the divorce.

For the parents: Being divorced in no way removes the obligation of doing what is right for your children, even if you have to swallow your pride to do it. After divorce, virtually all children feel like they have to choose sides. As a parent, DO NOT: put pressure on the child to take sides, take away the child’s trust and respect for the other parent, make them feel used and not loved, teach them to manipulate and have bitterness instead of solving problems, or pressure them into telling lies because that is what they think you want to hear. Don’t complain about the other parent in front of the children, and don’t encourage the children to. Parents DO need to show their gentleness (not bitterness) through their actions, thought, and speech. This includes being financially supportive when needed or supporting the other parent to get visitation. Please be aware that how children handle visitation is a reflection of how the parents handle visitation. Visitation may create a struggle for the child as they may feel like an intruder in the other household, and there will be a “jet lag” affect as they adjust from one household to another.

With divorce there will be changing roles that create an opportunity for the parents to fall into some bad habits. The most common one is that out of some form of guilt, parent-child boundaries get softened and there is less structure and discipline in the households. Adding fuel to this fire is there may be one parent at a time dealing with the children and the “being outnumbered” factor makes it easier to be more lax. Due to a parent dealing with divorce and stress there may also evolve a culture of a victim mentality that includes self-pity. There may be a divorce now, but they are still parents and should provide the structure, positive example, and the love their children need.

Our society continues to have new evolving problems that for many of us are unbelievable. Who would have believed that a form of slavery, human trafficking would be a rapidly growing problem in the new Millennium right here in the US, including Indiana? I attended an overview of the issue this week, thanks to The Church at The Crossing hosting an awareness event by Ascent 121. Ascent 121 is an organization that is local here in Indiana that is not only raising the awareness, but is championing some solutions. This blog is meant to share key points of that information, so others can be aware, and act.

What is it? Human trafficking is the illegal movement of people, typically for the purposes of forced labor or commercial sexual exploitation. In addition to prostitution, some also are supporting the illegal drug trade.

How bad is it? It is the 2^nd fastest growing crime in the world, with ½ of the victims being children. Those children started at an average age of 12-14 years old. It is estimated there are 100,000 children in the U.S. being trafficked. Indiana is one of the areas that has seen a lot of recent growth in the problem. Headlines like this are becoming more and more common: “Attorney General: Human trafficking likely during says Brickyard 400 weekend“. The map below shows hot spots of human trafficking in the US for 2014, and you can see Indiana has a lot of activity.

How could this happen? Supply and demand, with technology as enabler, and ease of pornography access have created a perfect storm. Supply of those being trafficked: All had some prior sexual abuse, a high % come from homes with domestic abuse and/or alcoholism, and most were runaways. 1 in 3 runaways will be approached by a trafficker within 48 hours. They see the trafficker initially as someone that cares and will provide for them, but a dark life soon follows. Demand for them: Our culture has promoted sex as happiness, with easy access to internet based pornography in the last 20 years, and an ample supply of those being trafficked primarily through internet sites like Backpage or through what appear as legal massage businesses. If we had to drive past people on the street soliciting, we would quickly see the extent of the problem, but the internet is “unseen”. This dirty secret is happening as discreet meetings and cash transactions everywhere.

Why don’t we just arrest the traffickers and fix it that way? Law enforcement is engaged, including here in Indiana. The problem is two-fold: the volume that this is happening is overwhelming law enforcement from a resource perspective, and since much of the activity is “underground” so it is difficult to track down. There is an additional issue that when someone who is being trafficked is “caught”, when they are released they are going to likely return to prostitution and maybe even their trafficker because they have nowhere else to turn to.

The initial solution: Address those most at risk first. For an organization like Ascent 121 this means talk to everyone and raise awareness of the issue, but then focus solutions first on those affected ages 11 to 17 years old. One of their immediate goals is to build a long term care home here in Indiana so those young girls have somewhere to go for a pathway to a healthy life longer term. If you think about it, most come from very broken, unsafe homes they can’t return to, and we don’t want them to return to the human trafficking world.

What can I do? Get involved, with whatever you have to help. If you have a group that needs to hear about the problem and Ascent 121, they would be glad to come to you and present. Obviously financial support is needed, but the one message they conveyed is “use whatever your gift is” to help. For some that could be volunteer work, and for others something different. Below is information for the organization. Get involved. I am using my blog this week to inform and spread that word.

Ascent 121 (Based out of Carmel, IN) – Ascent121.Org on the web or facebook.com/Ascent121

Whether you are single, in a relationship, or married we have all thought it. Our daily lives are very busy, including work, family, and keeping up with our homes. We are also very aware of who we have become physically, emotionally, and spiritually, and that includes any shortcomings we perceive in those areas. You may think you are not thin enough, attractive enough, make enough money, or are not young enough compared to others. In some cases you may already have a family from a previous relationship, and wonder if there is enough of you, or a good enough you to take on or maintain another relationship. So after all the things we must do for day to day living, and who we have become, are you going to be enough to keep your mate, or if single attract a mate for a long term relationship?

Isn’t it just easier to be alone rather than deal with all that stress and worry? Many people settle back into the just me and my kids thing, or just me and God thing, or just bury themselves into their work. Yes even married people can fall into these traps, and that puts their relationship at real risk. The problem is not that you might think you will end up alone, or that you are alone. The real problem is you think you are not enough. Even without a mate, that belief will still ripple through your life and affect deeply who you are and everything you do. You can change how you feel about yourself, and if you are in a relationship you can also change the dynamics of that for the better.

When you think about your perceived shortcomings, they fall into 2 categories. Things you can change, and things you can’t. Any changes you want to make need to be for you, not just because someone else wants them. It is so you can be a more confident, whole person to live a fuller life. It just happens to make you more attractive to others. Examples of things you can change may be getting healthier (we do have to work within our individual body types so I avoided the word thin), dressing better, having a more positive attitude, being less controlling, or not craving attention (AKA being a drama queen). You may have to carve out time in your day to make the change a priority if it is really important to you. Behavioral changes don’t even require more time, just your awareness to admit the problem and commit to change. If you are in a relationship or even dating, change could include interacting differently. This falls in the work smarter, not harder camp of change. I suggest everyone should read “The 5 Love Languages” by Gary Chapman so they can be aware and learn the best way to interact with each other. Interacting in their love language can be the great equalizer in terms of their satisfaction in the relationship. I like to say that from the moment you start to work on something, you are changed. This will keep you going, and also avoid the trap of waiting for perfection before allowing yourself to feel good about the change.

Examples of things you can’t change are your age, you may be captive in a certain income range, or you may have family commitments to keep like children or caring for an aging parent. For things you can’t change, why worry about them? Remove those thoughts from between your ears. Worry in the Greek definition means a “divided mind” and it will only distract you from living a full life. If you take away the worry of things you cannot change, and do work on things you want to change, then you are at your best, for you. Yes there will be disappointments along the way. You may even get resistance from some on a positive change you are making. That is sometimes just part of the process. We all fall down. Get back up. Failures along the way show you are changing. And before, during, or after any changes if someone thinks you are not enough, they were not the one for you.

When I think about our modern culture, it is striking how some things have become part of our daily lives, and how new they are. A smart phone, Facebook, Starbucks, on demand movies like Netflix, and even the internet is pretty recent. Everyone had flip phones (remember the triple click to text a letter), but as smart phones emerged, the flip phone declined. Like our flip phones were, I believe our religions are also being caught in a paradigm shift which has never been seen before, and it is driving a decline in engagement. In James Emery White’s book “The Rise of the Nones”, he sites research that shows the percentage of Americans that claim no religious identity has jump dramatically in in recent years from 8.1% in 1990 to 19.3% in 2012. What can be the cause of this dramatic jump away from organized religion?

Sometimes the truth is difficult to hear, but if we can’t speak the truth in love, we won’t have the opportunity to deal with difficult issues. Gabe Lyons and David Kinnaman conducted a study of young Americans outside the church. Here were the unchurched people’s key descriptors of the church and what percentage had the opinion:

Anti-homosexual (91%), Judgmental (87%), Hypocritical (85%), Old-fashioned (78%), Too involved with politics (75%), Out of touch with reality (72%), Insensitive to others (70%), Boring (68%), Not accepting of other faiths (64%), Confusing (61%). Also notable in a separate poll of the general population of the unchurched was: No value in attending church (74%), Churches have too many problems (61%), They didn’t have the time (48%), Churches ask for money too frequently (40%). Keep in mind that these studies are reflecting perceptions of the unchurched. These are tough to hear, but likely we have heard some of them from family and friends in discussions about religion and church.

There is hope. Regardless of engagement with an organized religion, most still believe in God and a greater power. In my conversations with unchurched, most also think if the churches were more like the true spirit of Jesus, they would be more attracted to it. He reached people where they were, approached everyone, and loved us so much he died for our sins. Remember he picked fishermen as the disciples to spark a worldwide religion, and was not shy about engaging with lepers, tax collectors, and prostitutes to help them. Part of the task is to engage with people to shape perceptions that may be wrong, and the other part involves actual changes in approach our churches must explore. There are some churches that are specializing in growth through the unchurched, and they are having success. If the broader church community does not adapt to fill this expanding void of the unchurched, literally in one or two generations we could be looking back and wondering what happened.

One of the main obstacles to reaching people today is a shift of how they want to engage with religion. The order in which they engage with religion, and are drawn to faith has shifted:

1950’s to the 1980’s: Believer first -> Connect to church community -> Church causes to help people

1990’s and 2000’s: Connect to church community -> Became a believer -> Church causes to help people

Now in to 2010’s: Church causes to help people -> Connect to church community -> Became a believer

The newer generations want to know their church makes a difference to help people first, before joining a church community and committing their faith. To them, this proves a church and religion are “walking the walk” and not “just talking the talk”.

For the modern church to thrive it is going to have to truly show it has become more inclusive and less judgmental. It will have to include a key focus on helping the less fortunate, so others can see the “good fruit” it can bear as a primary focus. Today’s world unfortunately has a clutter of activities on Sundays, like children’s sports and unfortunately work for some. In order to reach people “where they are” the church will have to be more creative with newer media like Facebook, Twitter, and Blogs, as well as have some alternative service times and places. In God’s plan there are often unpleasant things that cause us to act and change for the better long term.

But the church is not just a building or a pastoral staff. It is us. Us that belong to the church community are the church. Something wonderful could be coming, if we all get engaged and become part of it. This blog is part of my outreach, as is my helping in church recovery classes with others to reach out and try to help others as a pathway to God. If you are engaged with a church and want changes, you need to get involved. Let them know how you feel, but also offer yourself up as a resource to help with that change.

Have you ever had a moment when you were compelled to do something? Or maybe had some instinct within you that told you something was not just right? How about that feeling you get when you form deep friendships with others and you can tell them anything, and you feel this sharing helps heal you? There seems to be something within the core of our humanity that can be tapped into at certain times that is difficult to understand, but it can significantly impact us. This week I am wrapping up helping to facilitate a 10 week class on healthy boundaries, and I have seen and felt it happen there too. Once again I have seen people come into the class burdened with worry, saw them draw closer as a group as they learn and share, and seen the light in their eyes as their awareness and connection seems to change them. It is pretty amazing to watch.

So what is this thing that lies dormant within us, that in the right situation takes us to another level? It seems to be even more powerful when we connect with it with others. In scientific terms, it seems to be something that is deep in our subconscious, that when we bind with it brings us to a whole different level. In Christian circles it is known as the Holy Spirit and you connect with it through believing. It is held in such high regard that the only sin that cannot be forgiven is blaspheme against the Holy Spirit (Mark 3:28-30). It is part of the trinity of the Father, the Son, and Holy Spirit. In simple terms, it is God within each of us, waiting to be fully unleashed through faith. I believe we get glimpses of it to guide us to Him. It likely guided me to write, and for you to read this.

We have all seen testimony of people who experienced a transformation of their lives through their newfound belief and connection with this unseen secret power. You may not be able to see it, but it is hard to argue with the factual results: Convicts in prison that turn their lives around. Prostitutes that now are helping others break from that life. Women in homeless shelters that now are drug free and serving others. There are too numerous examples to mention here. I have personally seen it many times, including people transform taking classes, and even in my own life. They are those same people that always seem to have a smile and kind word, and regardless of what happens to them they keep moving forward. Do you ever look at them and wonder “How can I get what they have?” You can.

Your transformation is not likely going to be like flipping a light switch, but rather a journey. Some refer to this as your furthering your “walk with your faith”, or in biblical terms something called progressive sanctification (becoming more Christ like one step at a time). You must take the first step to take this walk. It likely will be outside your comfort zone at first, but that is OK. It shows you are growing. My journey has taken years, but it has given me something that has made a huge difference in my life. Talk to other Christians you know. Ask questions. Join them for church if invited. Your personal path to this transformation will be unveiled as you go. You literally cannot fail, as whatever you do moves you forward. When you are ready, you will know it and take the leap to baptism. Follow that secret power within you as it guides you to a better life and connection with God.